Catch a Rabbit
The LAPD, The FBI, and the CIA are all trying to prove that they are the best at apprehending criminals. The President decides to give them a test. He releases a rabbit into a forest and each of them has to catch it.
The CIA goes in.
They place animal informants throughout the forest. They question all plant and mineral witnesses. After three months of extensive investigations they conclude that rabbits do not exist.
The FBI goes in.
After two weeks with no leads they burn the forest, killing everything in it, including the rabbit, and they make no apologies. The rabbit had it coming.
The LAPD goes in.
They come out two hours later with a badly beaten bear. The bear is yelling: "Okay! Okay! I'm a rabbit! I'm a rabbit!"
Facts about Old Men and Women
Q: Where can guys over 65 find youthful, pretty women who are interested in dating them?
A: Look in the library-------under Romantic Fiction.
Q: How can a guy cope during his wife's menopause?
A: By staying busy. If you're mechanically inclined, you can remodel the garage. When you are finished you will have a flat in which to live.
Q: How can a woman raise the heart rate of her 65+ year old spouse?
A: She should tell him she's with child.
Q: What can an older woman do for the wrinkles on her neck?
A: Don't wear a brassiere. The additional hanging "weights" will take out the wrinkles.
Q: How can older people remember where they parked their cars?
A: Use the Valet service. They have to remember where your car is.
Q: Do older people have problems storing their short term memories?
A: No, they have problems retrieving the memories from storage.
Q: Do older people have deeper sleep?
A: They do, but normally their deep sleep happens in the afternoon
Q: Where can older people find prescription eye glasses?
A: On top of their heads.
Q: What is the most often used sentence uttered by older people when they visit antique shops?
A: 'Gee, I have one of these.'